In response to self-proclaimed Santa’s 3-months old letters:
Santa talks of absolution. Can someone tell me why does he seek the same in the first place?
Santa was supposed to keep those who believed in him, happy. Then was it someone whom he failed terribly?
Santa keeps walking, sure. But why does he feel unfulfilled? What keeps him gawking? Is there more he could have done to save those who believed in him from drowning?
Does Santa keep staring into the Oblivion, trying to find answers to a thousand what ifs? What effort was missing on his part? Perhaps reciprocation! Perhaps willingness. Perhaps being more than being just the messenger of God. Perhaps being more human?
Santa talks of redemption, says it’s a sin to redeem false hopes. But Isn’t betrayal the biggest sin of all? Then how come Santa still roams around unabashed? Is no one keeping his sin count?
Santa says he won’t yield more to please, and the entire universe laughs at the irony.
Santa wishes for his dream to be fufilled, forgetting that one has to pay a certain cost for each dream.
In response to Santa’s 3-months old letters:
Just sit back and relax.
Let karma give everyone the gift they deserve.
You think listening to John Mayer will help you attain that absolution? Then God alone can bless you! Cuz… Seriously, now?
“She is a good girl, loves her mama, loves Jesus, and her boyfriend too..”
“You’re a bad boy coz you don’t even miss her, you’re a bad boy, for breaking her heart..”
And now, you are free falling, and only heavens above know where your deeds will land you!
You seek absolution. Why?
Because deep down inside, you know that you have wronged someone so bad that her life is never going to be the same again.
You were proud that “your child” is writing the zenith of her stream. You wanted her to be busy after all. Eh?
Do you see how busy she is today that she has no time to attend to the wounds that still give her pain. She has all the money and niceties, but nowhere to go and nothing else to do.
So busy that there are days when she fails to tell the difference between beginning and ending.
Days when she is so occupied that the only thought she sleeps with is: Do I have a life of my own?
“Where did we go so wrong? Why is it that we have both settled down – but in different cities. Why couldn’t we end up together – like we promised?,” She asks.
And each time she cries herself to sleep even after 4 years, in her dreams she asks him the same set of questions:
Do you like going back to an empty bed after working your ass off for 11 hours at work?
Don’t you crave for that one long compassionate hug?
Now all that is left within me is a trail of broken dreams that has somehow managed to follow me till date. It’s like my life is a background on which John Mayer keeps playing like a broken record.
You still don’t get it. Now, do you? How the memories of those shared dreams are just reduced to the sweet nothings now! How all that I do is to secretly cry over random pre-wedding shoots, realising that we could have been so much more than just strangers with memories. How I still go silent when someone brings up your name, or asks me to marry.
How after all these years of being at the receiving end, I still want to believe that love lasts.
How I still write to you, hoping that my words would be able to do what I couldn’t – turn it all around like an hourglass.