This month, last year..

September 10, 2017:

K: Did you ask him for the morning shift?

A: Yes, I did and he said okay.

And, we have finally progressed to WhatsApp. (*Claps)

K: It’s ME, not WE.

September 11, 2017:

A: Feel hungry

K: you can always treat yourself.

A: I am saving up for your treat. It better be grand now.

Kriti, Have you even decided the venue yet? Tell me, where are we going for your birthday?

K: I checked some places online, listed few options. Help me choose on Saturday?

A: wait a second. You are in shift tomorrow, right?

K: yes, I am.

A: we can go downstairs when I come; and talk. The roster will be out too by then.

September 12, 2017:

A: I will go, cook something for myself.

K: you skipped dinner? You could have ordered na…

A: you weren’t there. Eh!

K: does that even make sense now? So you won’t order if I am not there?

A: No.

It’s too much work. And then you don’t know whether to offer some to people sitting next to you or just eat selfishly.

You are my order girl.

K: That’s not a very appropriate term, I would say.

A: That’s what you will be on your birthday.

September 13, 2017:

A: Thanks (For the Chocopies).

It was a very nice gesture.

K: 😊

A: You do so much for me. Now I have even more reasons to look forward to on your birthday.

September 14, 2017:

A: So, which places?

K: Let’s just forget that I shortlisted any. Essentially coz it’s not a short list to choose from. (Shares screenshots of the bookmarked places on Zomato)

A: Wow! You made it so easy for me. Just 36423 places to choose from.

Let’s go to Handi pure vegetarian. Ghaziabad.

K: I told you some of these bookmarks are ages old but no. You don’t listen to me.

A: can’t I use an opportunity to crack a joke?

September 15, 2017:

A: Mote (fatty), what’s up?

What did you do on your day off?

It was so congested in the front row today that we all had to squeeze in to make way for one another.

By the way, did you decide anything then? Are you calling everyone from work then? Do you think they all would be able to make it at the same time?

Oh! And did I mention that….

(**Kriti interrupts him and punches him with a sarcasm so tight that he is now tighlipped.**)

A: I am warning you. The more you mess with me, the more beers you will have to treat me with on your birthday.

One more punch (of sarcasm) and I am adding more beer(s) to the total bill you will have to pay.

September 16, 2017:

A: Well, of all these places I think we can go to Nehru place. There’s LOTD and Social there. I hate Hauz Khas – too many people there.

And by the way, I will pay my share. It’s not a treat.

K: Cool! You can go alone in that case.

Treat yourself. Pay for it. Come back. Text me to tell me how was it.

A: *Note to self – Don’t piss off Kriti*

September 17, 2017:

A: Calling everyone?

K: I believe, technically, it will be just the two of us.

A: And i thought it would be better if two people discuss many many things rather than 6 people discussing how fucked up our jobs are and trying to overcome the social awkwardness

K: Duly noted. And btw, I know why you said that it will be so boring with all the people from the workplace showing up on my birthday. Ofcourse, I know what you were suggesting.

A: That was quiet bitchy of me though. Wasn’t it? 😛

K: Things we do to get what we want.

September 18, 2017:

A: What happened? Tell me quickly.

K: You must be tired. You should sleep.

A: I will keep asking till you feel better or till I feel miserable.

K: I have a lot to learn from you.

A: I am suddenly feeling sleepy.

K: Me too.

A: I was in half mood to eat one of those Chocopies you gave me, but decided not to.

K: I can’t stuff it in your mouth now. :/

A: Wouldnt that be so great? If only you were here.. I would make you put some chocopies in my mouth and then sing me to sleep.

K: Woah! That escalated quickly. Aren’t you the biggest wannabe alive?

A: Aren’t we all?

September 19, 2017:

A: Tomorrow is the day.

Happy Birthday in advance (just in case I doze off early).

K: (Disappointed at the early wish, and unsure of the life-changing moments tomorrow (20th September) was supposed to bring, she says “ok, bye.”

A: What’s wrong?

K: (Sighs) Nothing.

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Someday, all this will fade away

Someday, all this will fade away.

The anxiety that plays hide and seek with you at every odd hour of the day.

The bulimia nervosa which always coaxes you into thinking that cocoa and sugar combine is the best escape.

The soundless cries for help, that are more often than not, accompanied by the thoughts poisonous enough to intoxicate your entire existence.

The endless hours of tears falling from your eyes for no apparent reason at all.

The emotional outbursts that are mostly triggered by the fumes of jealousy engulfing your soul from within.

The never ending process of resurrection each time your soul dies a little.

The countless wakes you have held in your mind palace to commemorate all that is there to cherish in your otherwise empty life.

The constant struggle of trying to be good enough – not just for the world to acknowledge your presence, but for yourself.

Someday, there will be an end to this fight between your heart and mind.

And on that day, It won’t matter who won this tug of war because in this battle of hearts, the stakes have always been high.

Someday, everything will make sense – the smudged Kohl around your swollen eyes, the puffs of smoke filling up the air amid dimmed lights, tirelessly waiting for replies on those dark & long nights, all those clichés you despised and how they made you sigh!

Someday, you will stop wearing emotions at your sleeve and giving into your vulnerabilities.

Someday, your charred soul will start shedding the ashes of your dreams and only hope will reside on the periphery of your skin.

Someday, you will forgive yourself for squeezing your heart out of love.

Someday, your conscience will finally be at peace with itself for torturing your mind to an extent that you wanted to kiss death at last.

Someday, you will realize why they say “past is in the past”.

Someday, you will learn to let go of the hurt and embrace the pain as if it were the only thing that ever mattered.