It's strange that how, certain times a few of the life instances move us so much from within that we can't help but feel ourselves as a part of those very happenings..
You were just a class fellow, or a friend, or may be someone whose presence was substantially felt in the older childhood days.. When every little teasing made some sense to us, When every little fight somehow affected our fake reputations..
Walking on the sands of time, Flashes from the past replay, as my conscious takes a trip down the memory lane..
Such were the days, full of insanity and absurdity, and a twist full turn this life has taken so early, that you had to leave our company at this tender age..
Not much contact was maintained in all these years after the final school break, still there was a sense of connectedness between all of us, which we could easily associate..
Realizing it now, leaves us more vulnerable to fall prey of those memories that lie there to haunt us in the times to come. The impact of the moment when out of the blues, this sad news had come..
They say, you only cherish someone's presence when they are not around. Rightfully so, Since whenever we 'll think of you, you will be remembered for spreading bunch full of laughter all around..
With deep grief in heart and a diligent prayer on lips, We all want to tell you, that no matter what, you will be really missed..
We wish that, all of them who are affected by your tragic demise, get power to heal and the strength to endure this relentless pain. May your soul always rest in peace.
We all thank you for being a part of our lives and leaving us with wide smiles at some or the other point of time. Needless to take your name, since you were one of your kind and shall remain the same..
Time – 8:30 p.m.
“It is only when you go through turmoil that you get to know the true essence of life.”
I always thought that establishing yourself at some level and being able to be self-sustainable would suffice in the long run, but, no, I was wrong. Life’s greatest challenges and its mysterious experiences lie far beyond just buying a sedan or trying to woo your loved ones.
Never thought that a mere classmate’s unexpected demise would become an impactful tragedy in itself.
I go to temple on a daily basis, but never really learned the true meaning of prayer and the purpose of my life. No doubt I still have those dreams and aspirations that will remain there on account of me, being a mortal soul. But, witnessing someone you have known for years, in inexplicable pain and tears, watching them leave the world and not being able to reverse the gear, is indeed. One tragic nightmare!
What makes it worse is the sight of such an incident, its memories that last for a lifetime, its deeper impacts giving you insights into the greater truths, by which you have to abide; some serious lessons to be learnt, i.e. the true essence of this mortal life.
Who would have thought that such a brilliant student excelling in almost every sphere of his life, the one who always knew how to make others smile, would be actually dying from inside!
It’s all a masquerade. A maze, in which we all get trapped, but, only a few get to evade.
We all talk of philosophy. We all have read scriptures at some or the other point of time, but, hardly any of us could relate to the in-depth meaning of the treasures they hide inside.
Not until today, could I have imagined that,, what if, I was in his place?
Will everyone’s reaction be just the same?
Would people still be finding excuses to post another status update?
Will people then, actually mean, what they say?
Will my long-lost friends too, gather once again and give fire to my remains and let it cremate?
Will my parent’s life will ever be the same again?
I couldn’t really get a definite answer to any of these questions except for the last one I had asked myself. God never promised us anything so certain, except for one divine blessing he gave us, whom we know as our parents.
Sometimes, I get similar thoughts too! When circumstances are unfair and the prolonged adversities lead to consecutive despair, When everything is blue and the situational pressures become unbearable, I think of giving up, on this only life, altogether.
Coz I have a fickle mind and a fragile heart, which, I believe, is no longer mine. It’s with a person, who pulled me out of the dungeons in time. And helped me, in every possible way, putting his most prized possessions at stake, to make me reach this level in life, wherein, the least I can do, is to write.
Write! For there is still so much for us to explore within our souls,
Write! Coz there is a secret side of every human, which hardly anyone shows.
It was a day after our friend passed away, when I called him.
We all had studied in the same school before graduating. Listening to him, I was petrified. He sounded highly irritated and upset with what had happened, since it must have indeed been such a terrible sight.
And, the lesson I learnt that day was that, death is the only truth that pervades. It’s a person’s death alone, which carries within, the potentialities of bringing unbelievable and irrevocable changes in the lives of others, who were, in the strongest of ties, associated with that (deceased) person.
I never thought that he would end up being so vulnerable at the dismal sight he must have witnessed. I have known him for years and he always emerged out as a practical person, in every damned situation. But, this time around, such a facet of him wasn’t there. I could not ask him more, while on call, since I knew that the person who bragged and claimed that he was not someone who would get emotionally attached with any individual, was crying silent tears. He could not reveal that he was devastatingly hurt. All he could end up with instead, was, shouting at me, on top of his lungs.
I still wonder, whether that actually helped him vent out his frustration or ease the pain he was feeling deep within? Well, that’s still a question of thought. Many a times, in a fit of anger, we do such acts, the consequences of which are unknown, even to our inner selves.
I was hurt too. I would say, more frightened, than hurt. I was sitting in my room, 166 kilometers far, whilst so much had happened, back in my hometown. Somewhere, in the corners of my mind palace, I could figure out and understand what he must have been going through. I was dumbstruck for a moment, following which, another set of questions struck my head.
Since childhood, I have been listening this from my mom and dad, that, “whatever happens, happens for our own good” and “nothing in this world can ever take place without god’s consent.” They also used to tell me that, if a person commits suicide, then there cannot be anything worse than that. Since, for that deceased, there is no life after death!
These were hitting my brain one after another as I tried to set up some sort of sensible yet relative nexus between these self-contradictory statements.
This traditional ancient framework of Hindu mythology, which speaks of life after death, has been well narrated in one of the related book of scriptures, popularly known as a “puraan.” It enumerates various stages, a soul undergoes, in the process of its purification within the span of one year. Well, this makes sense, if one actually relates to that.
But what I could not relate to, and understand was that, if we were all, the children of god and if even a leaf cannot move from its inertia of rest, when he doesn’t want, then, why is there such an outcry? A dilemma, as to the concept of afterlife, when one commits suicide? If nothing in this world can take place without god’s consent and life and death being no exceptions, then why is a suicide attempt considered an evil; an act that is done against god’s will?
I am still in search of the answers though, but deep in my heart i know by now, that suicide is never an answer to anything. Everyone forgets with time, the cost you paid to put an end to it. Come judgement, an act of courage or the one to be attributed to a weak human being? cant say. since i personally feel that no one can ever get real insights into any individual’s personal life (the extent of his sufferings and hardships in context of his endurance capacity) and hence, we are no one to judge his act as being wrong or right, anyway, at any point of time. But, what i am sure of, by now, is that, Death is the biggest truth of life, the one that pervades all; it is the only game-changer of its kind.
DISCLAIMER: © KRITI DHINGRA and SLICE OF LIFE, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KRITI DHINGRA and SLICE OF LIFE 2015 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.