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Memoirs of a lost love…

FROM THE DIARY OF A DECEASED..

She had a shining future waiting for her at the doorstep..

But she still felt shallow, coz he never realized her significance..

A life distorted..

Since, she just couldn’t sort it..

What mattered the most to her, was nowhere to be found in his priority list..

A few moments before she was taking her last breath..

She told him how much she loved him..

Still wondering! Only if he knew that he had snatched away all her reasons for living..

There was no pain and no grief to be seen on their faces..

But, just a numbness in senses that pervaded all their phases..

He claimed to be too bored, listening to her for over the years,

that he couldn’t resist shouting on top of his lungs..

She was too dumbstruck to figure out what went so fucking wrong on her part..

The last thing he did was to throw her out of his life, like a mere piece of trash..

Little did he knew the deeper implications of his self-centered acts..

The next best thing he unmistakably invited for himself,

Was a lifetime of regrets waiting for him ahead..

So many broken dreams were lying there on the floor, a million of shattered hopes, that still echoed..

The only thing she longed for, all this while was to get a time machine..

So that she could go back and edit the phase when she lost him..

But alas, she was no Cinderella or snow-white to witness a miracle in her life..

She was just a common girl, who, on her departure, had learnt the bitter truth of real life..

That unlike a fairytale, not all stories have a happy ending and love alone doesn’t suffice, when it comes to real life merry-making.

She could only thank him for showing her the world for real..

For letting her overcome her fears..

And for breaking all her myths that had been long protecting her…

Who would have ever thought that, they, who were once considered an epitome of everlasting togetherness,

would one day end up stabbing each others back and cursing one another to the worst form of death..!!

A soul in the unknown…

Here, when everyone else was busy with their own celebration strokes, there was this devastated Soul, trying to collect the crooked pieces of her shattered hopes..

When the whole city gets to sleep, that is when this lonely creature weeps..

Weeps until she makes heavens cry with her..

Weeps until the morning sun highlights her invisible bruises and scars..

Yes, this masquerade is her way of life now!

Probably coz she doesn’t want to show the world, what she feels deep within;

what all led to her turning this way out..

So far, far away in the unknown,

If she had the audacity to hope,

There might be someone who would know..

How to bring back her gleaming smiles and lost hopes!

May be, this part of her life was about Rediscovering oneself..

May be this was a wake up call for her,

to get better acquainted with the concept of “impermanence”..

But, She constantly found herself caught up between the struggles of the very process..

Where on one hand, She was trying to learn,

how to be content with what she had and live a life without regrets..

The other part of her spirit drenched with disappointments,

would escalate its magnetic field,

leaving her under the impression, that probably,

she just had no right to stay happy!

She barely had any friends, who could share her troubles and sorrows..

After some time, even the ceiling fan of her dainty room ceased to answer her, back.

What an irony associated with living alone!

You can undoubtedly get to know your true self; but in the end,

staring at the walls is the only job you have..

She loved spending time on her own, but,

getting outcasted from the whole world around her,

was something she could have never even dreamt of..

But this was happening, and she couldnt help it.. A part of, the god’s plan, for deciding her destiny..

She kept on thinking what went so wrong on her part?

Why was she left all alone, in the dark?

Why couldnt she be happy, like all those glowing faces around her?

Was her pessimism, withdrawing back her prospects of gelling up with people,

and disconnecting her from the entire throng?

May be, yes.

May be, her psychological unrest, was detrimental to that.

But, how could she rectify that?

Who was there to listen to her predicament? Her vanity never allowed her, to ask anyone for some level of pity..

And before her heavy head and swelled eyes made her doze off, subconsciously,

she could only pray to god, to bless her long lost friends and her only love,

with the power of listening beyond words..

So that, someday, they could understand that she never, intentionally grew distant..

In fact, she was fighting within herself, a battle against chronic pessimism responsible for her psychological imbalance.

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