Her treasure chest of memories…

While scrolling down the albums in her phone, she stumbled upon the pictures she had been safe-keeping, so that she could preserve each expression and every gesture of him, so that she could open up her pandora box, at her own will, so that she would not feel alone during times when she terribly misses him..

And as she was re-living those picture perfect moments spent with him, thanking herself for this great gift of glossy and colorful impressions she had presented herself with, she came across a few, to which she literally sticked..

Excerpts from the description of her treasure chest, which she cannot afford to lose to anything..
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Look, It’s That picture in which he wanted to see whether he could widen his jaw more than doraemon..

That picture where the innocence of his face made her fall for him, all over again..

that picture where the serenity of his sleep reflected the peaceful state he was in..

that picture wherein the potholes of his cheeks hid a thousand mysteries within..

that picture where the immense depth in his eyes, made her forget all his lies..

that picture wherein he could no longer conceal the thirst of his Soul..
Wherein his expressions, indeed left her lured..

that picture where his funny gestures made her laugh, literally rolling on the floor..

that picture wherein he was all smiles, with his friends around, spreading the happy, positive vibes..

that picture which echoes of the most intimate time they had spent together, the one which leaves her tranquilised without liquor..

When he had wrapped her in his arms, squeezed her so tight that she could not turn around..

When they both cuddled from dusk till dawn.. The picture which says it all..
When there were two bodies though, but dwelling in them, was a single Soul..

The only picture, at which, she would stare for hours.. The one that still makes her smile, during her tearful showers..

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100 Days away from you…

25th DEC, 2014 to 4th APRIL, 2015.
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It was during the spring break..

When the mystical flowers bloomed..

And the swirling winds made the plants groove..

When the dusk painted the sky in pink hues..

When the twilight casted its bright shadows upon us, as spreads the color of truth..

When the jittering clouds played hide and seek with the glittering stars.. When the innocent moon was confiscated as a third party to their sweet war..

When we used to go on the long walks together..

When we wished that we could lose our ways, with our hands in hands, forever..

Who knew that someday, only a part of that wish would come true?

That we would lose ourselves instead, and our relationship would meet its doom..

What have we become now?
Why dont I seem to recognize anyhow?

It’s hundred days now..
Away from you..

No update regarding your whereabouts,
Where have you been and how?

Would love to hear from you..
Needless to say, I still miss you..

Come and save me from myself and all I do, coz this life ain’t the same without you.

Let me re-experience the way your conjuring tricks extract the silver smiles out of my life’s blues..

Under the sky full of stars…

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All i need to do is to just close my eyes,

And i see you,

Your face glowing like fireflies,

Right under the starry constellation..

It’s just me and you,

It only takes one song to bring back a thousand memories..

And i wish that you could hear it too!

Whenever the cold breeze whispers in my ear,

chills of nostalgia leave impressions so sheer..

The frost in my head gets to conquer my breath,

And i cannot help but regret,

regret that i lost you because of my insecurities..

Every time i see a sky full of stars,

I cant help but picture us, making love..

Each time i look at the moon,

My heart beats faster, thinking of you,

It gives me a contentment that we aren’t that distant,

that at least we reside under the same gigantic object..

Moon, as you call it..

Your only companion when you are there in the dark, gloomy and lonely..

I am indeed very grateful that i have this moon,

but, wait a second, what about you?

DISCLAIMER: © KRITI DHINGRA and SLICE OF LIFE, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KRITI DHINGRA and SLICE OF LIFE 2015 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

A note of gratitude…

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.  –Martin Luther King, Jr.

Here is to a friend whom I got in touch with, sometime back..

Whom, I came to know, through an old friend..

So this friend of mine, is one of the most kind-hearted souls, that I have come across so far..

He graduated from IIMC, one of those places where I really wanted to be..

And I still remember the first convo we had, since it left a lasting impression on my psyche,

Even though it’s just for 7 months that I know him now, but seems like that was sufficient for the cause,

He would make you feel so special about yourself and then bring you back to where you have been ..

That’s one exceptional talent he possesses, which hardly any person would come to notice,

He would never step back to help you when you need him bad, that’s for sure, you bet?

He will be there for you till you literally stop feeling sad.. conspicuously, I still have that picture of the full moon he had sent,

Though he gave me mixed signals as to his preferences, I still took all of those lame excuses, coz somewhere, i guess, i quiet liked him..

I acted like a kiddo with him, Pugnacious at times and at the others, I turned out to be quiet demanding, probably coz I was actually comfortable talking to him,

He still used to protract those demands with such polite gestures, that I had no choice but to forgive him afterwards!

Coz how could i not melt, for that stupid (for him) hindi song he sang?

He has a girlfriend now, and it appears to me that he has finally found the love of his life!

I am happy for him, but also sad at the same time.. Coz the charm of the bond we shared is long vanishing,

He is a busy man now, trying to keep his relationship and work affairs in harmony,

the way we connected before, isn’t the same anymore.. But that’s okay. He has his someone special by his side, after all.

It gives me a sense of contentment knowing that he is doing pretty well in life, an unmatched joy, that he is happy by her side..

In the end, I just hope that he doesn’t forget his friend by chance, the one with whom, he once shared some deep serious conversations ,

I wish him all the luck for his future endeavors, and before I wind up, I  want him to know that he is one of his kind and should not change for any reason, or any person in life..

It’s not a farewell note though, as neither of us is moving any place, any time soon, but i still wish the very best, for a rare friend i found in you..!!

Somewhere in the middle of those conversations…

This day, 4 years back, i was struck by a lightning meteor, the 
intensity of which, changed my life, completely and forever..
28th of January,2011 it was, when that crimson blush preceded by 
the first gaze of those twinkling eyes, had sparked off...!!
Dedicated to you, my love...

Somewhere in the middle of those conversations, I fell in love with you..

From being absolute strangers to the closest friends,

From those stupid gossips to keeping secrets,

Don’t know when exactly, I started liking you..

From those useless arguments to those pointless fights,

From those few common likes to a bunch of dislikes,

From those insane laughs to those serious cries,

I did share many beautiful moments with you..

Somewhere in the middle of those conversations, I fell in love with you..

Don’t know how the time had passed, for hours of conversation that used to last,

And today, its been ages since we really talked..

Yeah, somewhere in the middle of those conversations, I fell in love with you,

And, for the rest of my life too, I will cherish the beautiful bond I shared with you..

Though it’s a little self-centered, but in the end, it’s always about you..

No matter where I go, regardless of what I do,

I will never be the same without you..

Coz my love for you was pious; it was true,

Yes, somewhere in the middle of those conversations, I fell in love with you..!!!

DISCLAIMER: © KRITI DHINGRA and SLICE OF LIFE, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KRITI DHINGRA and SLICE OF LIFE 2015 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Death and beyond… (farewell, dear friend) !!!

It's strange that how, certain times a few of the 
life instances move us so much from within that we 
can't help but feel ourselves as a part of those very happenings.. 
You were just a class fellow, or a friend, or may 
be someone whose presence was substantially felt in 
the older childhood days.. When every little teasing 
made some sense to us, When every little fight 
somehow affected our fake reputations..  
Walking on the sands of time, Flashes from the past 
replay, as my conscious takes a trip down the memory lane..  
Such were the days, full of insanity and absurdity, 
and a twist full turn this life has taken so early, 
that you had to leave our company at this tender age..  
Not much contact was maintained in all these years 
after the final school break, still there was a sense 
of connectedness between all of us, which we could 
easily associate..  
Realizing it now, leaves us more vulnerable to fall 
prey of those memories that lie there to haunt us in 
the times to come. The impact of the moment when out 
of the blues, this sad news had come..  
They say, you only cherish someone's presence when 
they are not around. Rightfully so, Since whenever 
we 'll think of you, you will be remembered for 
spreading bunch full of laughter all around..
With deep grief in heart and a diligent prayer on 
lips, We all want to tell you, that no matter what, 
you will be really missed..  
We wish that, all of them who are affected by your 
tragic demise, get power to heal and the strength to 
endure this relentless pain. 
May your soul always rest in peace.  
We all thank you for being a part of our lives 
and leaving us with wide smiles at some or the 
other point of time. Needless to take your name, 
since you were one of your kind and shall remain the same.. 

                                                                                          Time – 8:30 p.m.

                                                                                        1st November,2014.

“It is only when you go through turmoil that you get to know the true essence of life.”

I always thought that establishing yourself at some level and being able to be self-sustainable would suffice in the long run, but, no, I was wrong. Life’s greatest challenges and its mysterious experiences lie far beyond just buying a sedan or trying to woo your loved ones.

Never thought that a mere classmate’s unexpected demise would become an impactful tragedy in itself.

I go to temple on a daily basis, but never really learned the true meaning of prayer and the purpose of my life. No doubt I still have those dreams and aspirations that will remain there on account of me, being a mortal soul. But, witnessing someone you have known for years, in inexplicable pain and tears, watching them leave the world and not being able to reverse the gear, is indeed. One tragic nightmare!

What makes it worse is the sight of such an incident, its memories that last for a lifetime, its deeper impacts giving you insights into the greater truths, by which you have to abide; some serious lessons to be learnt, i.e. the true essence of this mortal life.

Who would have thought that such a brilliant student excelling in almost every sphere of his life, the one who always knew how to make others smile, would be actually dying from inside!

It’s all a masquerade. A maze, in which we all get trapped, but, only a few get to evade.

We all talk of philosophy. We all have read scriptures at some or the other point of time, but, hardly any of us could relate to the in-depth meaning of the treasures they hide inside.

Not until today, could I have imagined that,, what if, I was in his place?

Will everyone’s reaction be just the same?

Would people still be finding excuses to post another status update?

Will people then, actually mean, what they say?

Will my long-lost friends too, gather once again and give fire to my remains and let it cremate?

Will my parent’s life will ever be the same again?

I couldn’t really get a definite answer to any of these questions except for the last one I had asked myself. God never promised us anything so certain, except for one divine blessing he gave us, whom we know as our parents.

Sometimes, I get similar thoughts too! When circumstances are unfair and the prolonged adversities lead to consecutive despair, When everything is blue and the situational pressures become unbearable, I think of giving up, on this only life, altogether.

Why?

Coz I have a fickle mind and a fragile heart, which, I believe, is no longer mine. It’s with a person, who pulled me out of the dungeons in time. And helped me, in every possible way, putting his most prized possessions at stake, to make me reach this level in life, wherein, the least I can do, is to write.

Write! For there is still so much for us to explore within our souls,

Write! Coz there is a secret side of every human, which hardly anyone shows.

It was a day after our friend passed away, when I called him.

We all had studied in the same school before graduating. Listening to him, I was petrified. He sounded highly irritated and upset with what had happened, since it must have indeed been such a terrible sight.

And, the lesson I learnt that day was that, death is the only truth that pervades. It’s a person’s death alone, which carries within, the potentialities of bringing unbelievable and irrevocable changes in the lives of others, who were, in the strongest of ties, associated with that (deceased) person.

I never thought that he would end up being so vulnerable at the dismal sight he must have witnessed. I have known him for years and he always emerged out as a practical person, in every damned situation. But, this time around, such a facet of him wasn’t there. I could not ask him more, while on call, since I knew that the person who bragged and claimed that he was not someone who would get emotionally attached with any individual, was crying silent tears. He could not reveal that he was devastatingly hurt. All he could end up with instead, was, shouting at me, on top of his lungs.

I still wonder, whether that actually helped him vent out his frustration or ease the pain he was feeling deep within? Well, that’s still a question of thought. Many a times, in a fit of anger, we do such acts, the consequences of which are unknown, even to our inner selves.

I was hurt too. I would say, more frightened, than hurt. I was sitting in my room, 166 kilometers far, whilst so much had happened, back in my hometown. Somewhere, in the corners of my mind palace, I could figure out and understand what he must have been going through. I was dumbstruck for a moment, following which, another set of questions struck my head.

Since childhood, I have been listening this from my mom and dad, that, “whatever happens, happens for our own good” and “nothing in this world can ever take place without god’s consent.” They also used to tell me that, if a person commits suicide, then there cannot be anything worse than that. Since, for that deceased, there is no life after death!

These were hitting my brain one after another as I tried to set up some sort of sensible yet relative nexus between these self-contradictory statements.

This traditional ancient framework of Hindu mythology, which speaks of life after death, has been well narrated in one of the related book of scriptures, popularly known as a “puraan.” It enumerates various stages, a soul undergoes, in the process of its purification within the span of one year. Well, this makes sense, if one actually relates to that.

But what I could not relate to, and understand was that, if we were all, the children of god and if even a leaf cannot move from its inertia of rest, when he doesn’t want, then, why is there such an outcry? A dilemma, as to the concept of afterlife, when one commits suicide? If nothing in this world can take place without god’s consent and life and death being no exceptions, then why is a suicide attempt considered an evil; an act that is done against god’s will?

I am still in search of the answers though, but deep in my heart i know by now, that suicide is never an answer to anything. Everyone forgets with time, the cost you paid to put an end to it. Come judgement, an act of courage or the one to be attributed to a weak human being? cant say. since i personally feel that no one can ever get real insights into any individual’s personal life (the extent of his sufferings and hardships in context of his endurance capacity) and hence, we are no one to judge his act as being wrong or right, anyway, at any point of time. But, what i am sure of, by now, is that, Death is the biggest truth of life, the one that pervades all; it is the only game-changer of its kind.

DISCLAIMER: © KRITI DHINGRA and SLICE OF LIFE, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KRITI DHINGRA and SLICE OF LIFE 2015 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Things you left behind…

Look! What I just found today!

All those stuffs that I had been hiding for months, the things I had been distancing myself from..

This old diary of mine, each page of which, narrates a different story of our times..

Its been so long since I last touched it, and today, as I opened it, it ported me to a dreamland that once existed..

No, I am no more talking about it.

I had taken a resolution to abstain from your belongings,

But wait, a part of my heart, I guess, is still fragile,

And I fail to understand, why?

All this while, I have been shielding myself from all the miseries that came along as inevitable side-effects..

But I am just a human, who cannot expect to have control over all the circumstances!

And, this, I suppose was one such instance!

As I was turning the pages going through my old pieces of writing,

I came across the priceless treasures of your childhood pictures, slipping down to my hands..

I took a glance, and then kept it back.

Somewhere in the corners of my mind, I just wanted to be rest assured that I had resisted falling for it.

May be, I thought that lying to myself was in someway, going to help me by protecting me from imagining several possibilities!

The red heart cushion you gifted me, (telling me to hug that, whenever I feel lonely) still cannot fill the void I feel deep within..

And, that cotton roll you gave me, is still packed as it is,

Since I am getting used to loud noises, not just from outside, but from deep within..

Seeing the exhibit one today, relishing its scent all over again,

I couldn’t help tears rolling down my cheeks..

Coz the mere thought of reading P.s. I love you,

left strong tremors on my whole being..

Could not gather the courage to reopen all those letters you dropped,

Probably because I was too afraid to fall prey of the miraculous power of written words..

But you don’t have to worry,

All those gifts and presents are safe, and right here, with me..

I might never be able to dump those,

Coz they will remain close to me, forever, as your sweet Mementoes..

And nobody will ever get to know about our secret stories,

This, I promise, for at least, as long as I live..!!

DISCLAIMER: © KRITI DHINGRA and SLICE OF LIFE, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KRITI DHINGRA and SLICE OF LIFE 2015 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.